goin' public

this past weekend we took zuzu to the mall for the first time. in fact, it was one of the first times we’ve been out in public with our new daughter. okay, so we’ve been out in “public” – to church, walks around the neighborhood, to the pediatric clinic waiting room – but i’m talking about the kind of public where there are a lot of people, most of them being of the kind who don’t know us at all.

as we took turns pushing the stroller around from store to store, i noticed that many people were immediately drawn to looking our way… alright, they were looking more towards the stroller than to us, really, but it was an experience for me that i really enjoyed. i had a great feeling of pride. “why, yes, this is my daughter. yep, she’s mine… she’s new.”

this reminded me of the way in which i felt when i first started dating jenn (over 12 years ago!), when we’d go someplace public together and walk side-by-side, or better yet, hand-in-hand. i would try to contain myself, but inside i was thinking, “are you people seeing this?! i’m walking with her... not just near her, not just next to her, but WITH her. oh, you don’t say… she’s beautiful, eh? she’s sweet and thoughtful and smart and funny – wow, you can really tell that by looking at her? yeah, i know, it’s true and i’m glad that you have acknowledged it.” it was a feeling of exuberation just to be near enough to her to be associated with her in even a small way by “the general public.” it was an honor to be seen with her. in fact, it still is.

so when people passed by us at the mall, their eyes tracking the stroller, hoping to catch a glimpse of a stranger’s new baby beaming from within, smile, then tilted their gaze upwards to me, it’s like they’d just ‘connected the dots’. her - - - - - - - - - him. and i’m proud of that connection. now, i know that they can only smile as a result of their having seen little zuzu, how little and beautiful and perfect she is, and that they really don’t know who she is or what kind of person she is, but i know her and love her for the person that she has become already and know that if they only knew, they’d probably explode as a result of the true beauty and joy that would be revealed in that moment. someday, perhaps they will know her. for now, though… yeah, i’m with her… and loving it!